It was only a matter of time - dropped bike

It's been FAR too long since I've done something REALLY stupid regarding my motorcycle.

X was parking on an incline. Cute lady with a 5 week old kitten was major distraction. Kitten was actually between my spokes on rear wheel sitting on hub of rear wheel for a while. After kitten was coaxed out of wheel I needed to boogie so I hastily tried to make my exit. The lady and kitten were within mere feet of tip of my exhaust. I did not wish to scare kitten, or spray both with exhaust fumes, so I decided to move bike manually and swing it around 180 degrees before starting bike.

You ready for this.....

I pushed bike off side stand and kicked it up. I'm on the downhill side of bike at this time. I push bike to start it rolling down incline (I was parked parallel with incline).....

NOTE TO SELF : Always make sure steering head is unlocked before attempting to move bike on uneven ground.      

I had locked the handlebars in full lock position for "anti-theft" reasons. What a dumbass. I forgot, and did not unlock.

Gravity took bike and me. I was dumb-struck beyond reason. I had no clue what was wrong until is was far too late.

THE FUCKING HANDLEBARS ARE LOCKED IN FULL LOCK!!!!!!!!

Bike quickly goes around in a tight semi-circle. I go from being on downhill side of bike to the uphill side of bike.

I'm now reaching for brake. DUMBEST DAMNED IDEA FUCKING EVER.

The bike is pulling away from me and starting to fall....I grab brake. Being that the handlebars are in full lock position the front brake grab forces weight to shift even more towards outside of circle. Since I'm grabbing brake I'm holding on to bike.


BAM.

Down goes bike. MY PAINT!!!!!!!!?????????

BAM.

Down goes me on top of bike.  WHAT THE FUCK DID MY THIGH HIT.

Lady is in shock. "Are you okay?"

My god.....how can I get out of here with any dignity and grace??????????

I jump up. Lift bike. Paint is fine. Handlebar, footpeg, and passenger peg take brunt of tip over like a champ.

I think I smashed my thigh on passenger peg on the side I fell on.

I start bike, jump on it and go.


Pride completely destroyed.


The fall pushed my barkbuster into throttle tube and made it so I had a cruise control feature for ride home.
Will have to fix that this weekend.


So I've been riding motorcycles since 1986. Roadraced in sanctioned AMA/CCS and WERA events for 5 years. Had 6 different motorcycles, and I'm now 50 years old.

I CAN STILL BE A TOTAL TOOL-ASSED BRAIN-DEAD MORONIC DOUCHE-FACE.

I blame the kitten and cute lady.

GOLD !  Thanks for sharing mate.... BUT....You idiot ! LOL

Pussy Power got you going "down"   

Also you should'a got that old duck's number and hit her up for a "happy ending".....

 

The "old duck" is probably 20 years my junior at least, and is a black-belt Wing Chun Sifu fresh off the plane from China.

  

Similar thing happened here, on my KLR ... downhill-to-uphill flop down because of stupidity, as I was pulling the bike backwards to turn it around.... but with no witness. Whew!

Raymond

PS. I was wondering about the "kitten episode" you mentioned in TKO's post regarding his new map. Now I know!

Thank all that is good in this world that the only photographic proof I have to back up my story is this:



although I'd seriously have to question why anyone might doubt my story....certainly nothing to brag about....

I'm seeing a line of carpet covered chain guards - "The Little Kitty Scratchin' Guard" available for X and R. ...err, maybe not.

Heh...you dog.
Hey, I my try and steal your move sometime...brilliant  

Yep, I think GT-250 got it right... 

      

Cute cat, glad you and the bike are alright.

Must be something about being 50. A couple years ago, I parked my 3 month old DRZ in front of my office on the front walk. Young ladies across the parking lot were all heading home from their office. Thought I would get the front wheel a bit in the air as I hopped off the curb. As i went down, doing a face plant on top of the DRZ, it was then and ONLY THEN, I remembered that I didn't use my disc-lock reminder cable. Complete humiliation.

250riders wrote:

Must be something about being 50.  A couple years ago, I parked my 3 month old DRZ in front of my office on the front walk.  Young ladies across the parking lot were all heading home from their office.  Thought I would get the front wheel a bit in the air as I hopped off the curb.  As i went down, doing a face plant on top of the DRZ, it was then and ONLY THEN, I remembered that I didn't use my disc-lock reminder cable.  Complete humiliation.

Must be something about ladies watching you.

brilliant ha ha ha